Badass Book Angel

 This is my sister Metta.  She was a Librarian. Someone once referred to her as “The BookAngel”, but to me she was badass. A badass book angel Librarian.

But she was seriously born to be a badass anything.  First of all, she was a Junior.  Her name was Metta T. Lansdale, Jr. She was proud to remind any listener that that was her name; on her birth certificate.  

Perhaps being a badass was predetermined, because she wasn’t very  healthy as a child.  She had multiple food allergies- she once told me that all she remembered being able to eat as a child were green vegetables.  

She also had asthma.  Since I was born almost 5 years after her, I don’t remember this, but I was told she almost died several times before I was born. During the hot, humid Ohio summers, she spent a lot of time in her bedroom, the only room in our house with an air conditioner.

 She told me that once she stopped “worrying”, her asthma attacks greatly decreased in number. Badass.

Also, she loved bugs. She was a Girl Scout.  And in order to earn a particular badge, she created an awesome butterfly collection.  She loved grasshoppers and Praying Mantises and tomato worms and any other interesting insect.  I learned about cocoons and which worm would turn into which butterfly from my big sister.

 

She was a public school kid.  I, and my other sisters attended an all-girls (private) school once we reached high school age.  Having only recently discovered (in my 70s) that I have ADHD as well as a learning disability, the fact that she didn’t “get in” may have been as simple as not testing well, but as it’s too late to ask her now, I can only guess.  But I seriously remember a particular dinner table conversation during which my Father emphatically and forcefully told her how smart she was, and to “never *never* let me hear you say that again!” After she offhandedly commented that she was “dumb”.  

She went off the college got an English degree and came back home after graduation.  I was in high school and so glad to have her back.  She got a job at the Public Library downtown and clearly learned to love it as evidenced by more enthusiastic dinner table discussions.  

That job was a start of an over 50 (60?) year career. She went on grad school at the University of Michigan where she earned her Masters in Library Science. Then she spent the next decades working as a Librarian in and around southern Michigan, eventually retiring as the Library Director of a district with 4 libraries in beautiful northern Michigan. She would start her emails to me, “Greetings from Paradise!”

She retired, earlier that she would have liked to, when she was diagnosed with Brain Cancer at the age of 68.  She was cured, then the cancer returned as it sometimes does.  She was cured again.  

 Unfortunately, the third time was not the charm.  She passed away in 2022 at the age of 74.  

The only good thing about her cancer is that it brought her and her husband back together.  They had been divorced for 20 years and remarried in 2019. It was a joyful day!

 

The first Little Free Library I ever saw, was on a lovely street in Traverse City, Michigan near my sister’s condo.  After she died I established a Little Free Library outside my Condo in Omaha, in her honor.   My neighbors love it, and it gives me the opportunity to tell anyone who asks, about by badass sister. 

 

I miss my sister every single day. She was the closest of my sisters to me in age, and we had a true friendship.

The reason I felt compelled to write this 2 1/2 years after her death?

Today I found myself  looking at photo from National Geographic of a really interesting insect.   My first instinct was, “I’ve got to send this to Metta!”

Sometimes when I scroll through social media I’ll come across a post about other badass librarians and I want to hit “share”.

I want to talk to her.  I want to commiserate about the sad state of our country and how much I miss Obama…or Hillary. I want to hear her remind me that Librarians are the guardians of the First Amendment. (Badass!)

I want to hear her tell me about the new restaurant in town or the delicious meal her husband cooked for her. 

I want to hear her thoughts on whatever book she is reading, and her recommendations for movies to see.

I want to swim in the ocean again with her.  

Badass Book Angel. 

Be Demanding

 In around 1968 (ish), my mother received a new credit card from Bank of America.  It was actually called the “Bank Americard” and it came with a photo of the user.   Now this was before 1974 right?  Women were not yet “allowed” to have credit. But had my mother’s photo on it. And right below my mother’s photo, was my father’s name.   

I can still hear her saying,  “I’m not John Lansdale, I am MRS. John Lansdale!” 

My mother sent it back with a letter requesting “Mrs.”

They sent her a new card with no changes.   She sent it back again. Same.   She sent it back again. I think it was the 3rd card that finally came back with “Mrs.”

She would not have considered herself a feminist- she was working inside the rules of the day.  She wasn’t even asking for her own name.  Nope, she fought for her identity.  She fought for her title.   

And she won.  

It was a Small victory.  

~BUT~

Certain people, certain organizations, certain political parties, want to take us backward.  

We need to Learn my mother’s lesson If we want to move forward again.  If we want bodily autonomy we must do these three things:

Be persistent.  

Be insistent.  

Be demanding.    

Caveat: My mother may have been content with her small victory, but in 2024 we must follow her lead into the future and total victory.  

Tentative Diagnosis

 When I visited my granddaughter last year she told me she had been diagnosed with ADHD “and Gramma you have it too!” Her long elegant finger pointing directly at my heart. 

So that was a thing.  After months of thinking about it i decided to see about that.  So, fast forward and Today i visited with a Psychiatrist.   

Short answer, I probably don’t have ADHD.  But the nagging suspicion i have had for 40 years that i might have dyslexia …boom… could be the source of the many stops and starts in my life.   There will be some more involved testing and then… what?   So while this tentative diagnosis could explain much of my past, I don’t know what that means for my future