Wednesday, June 6, 2012

Walking to School Friends











From the time I was twelve years old until eighteen, I attended a school that had the motto, Non scholae sed Vitae Discimus. (We learn not for school, but for life).

I attended with a small group of young women, about sixty of us, who as we attended school together formed bonds we didn't even realize we were forming. As I have written before, some friendships are stronger than time and space. These are the bonds that were formed in part because some of us walked to school together.

When you walk to school with a girlfriend you talk and talk... And talk. About everything. You visit each other's homes. You meet each other's families.

I had two very special Walking to School Friends. We sang together in the school Chorus, and in the more elite "Ensemble" during our Senior year. We acted in plays together, and sometime we competed for the same solos.

These days we'll go for months without a connection. Far flung, many of us see each other face to face only at ten-year reunions when it is as if we saw each other yesterday. In between the planned meetings, sometimes something happens. An Illness. A parent who died too young. Divorce. Widowhood. A child is hurt, or worse. A natural disaster occurs and one becomes homeless for a time.

When these somethings occur, one of us may make a phone call, or write a letter. Then we women get to work on the business of love and support. We know the value of a handwritten note, a bunch of flowers, or a phone call. There is a sisterhood amongst people who virtually and literally grew up together. And where there are sisters, there is usually love. And sister love is powerful.

One of my Walking-to-School Friends is facing what may be her final illness. This is a woman who is surrounded by love even without her sisters. She has a loving husband, wonderful daughters, delightful grandchildren, a multitude of friends, a cherished pet. But recently a letter was written; an email was sent.

Her husband tells me that they already receive daily notes and flowers from loved ones. Neighbors bring food. Even a gift of labor, for the unfinished tree-house that he promised their grandchildren, a project that was postponed due to the interminable doctors' visits and a focus on something else. But when the women who were once school-mates learned of their sister's illness, something exploded.

I am again reminded of the simple power of love. As I read back over drafts of posts I've written here over the last couple of years it's a recurring theme. I guess I can't say it, or learn it enough. When my Walking-to-School friend wrote to me yesterday she said, "Thank you for your loving kindness all the years of our life." Singular.

So I take a breath. I remember my childhood. I feel the loving kindness.
Location:Omaha, NE

Monday, April 16, 2012

Birthdays and Virgil



Ever since I was born, I have been getting older. Better than the alternative, as the old chestnut goes. I'm going to be a year older on my birthday, one month from today, whether I'm ready for it or not.

I'm walking now, instead of running. I proved to myself that I could, and I have. And I did. I'm walking 2 1/2 - 3 miles about three times a week.

I do not have a sedentary job. Some days I walk my ten thousand steps just in the course of my work. I've keep my weight (mostly) down, although it could still go down a little. Well okay, a lot. But I am a pretty healthy specimen, all things considered.

I'm not a weakling, but my hands aren't as strong as they used to be. My hands, yes, my fingers and wrists are lacking stamina. Not what I have been expecting. I can't open my soft drink bottles as easily as I used to. A gallon of milk? What's up with that? It's irritating, I tell ya.

I am also really smart. But it is obvious to me that I'm not as quick as I used to be. I am learning a new routine at work. It's not hard, you don't have to have a degree to do this stuff (and I have a couple of those), but it just seems to be taking me a little while longer to get the routine down than it might have just a couple of years ago.

And I don't like this, not one little bit.

Okay, now I've vented, and in the spirit of my stated goal with this blog, I need to clarify that I am secretly sort of excited to be turning sixty.

Sixty. Sixty.


I sort of like the sound of it. Sixty is wise. Sixty is seasoned.

Guilt, which used to be my constant companion, has left me for a younger, more attractive woman.
Sixty is the adolescence of old age. Like a teenager, I can't wait to see what's next, I am still deciding what I want to do when I "grow up".





Virgil wrote, Haec olim meminisse iuvabit, which according to Robert Fagles*, translates to, "A joy it will be one day, perhaps, to remember even this.". Virgil may have only been referring to Aeneas' troublesome journey, but life is full of ups and downs, and at sixty, I look back on it all with joy, or at least I try to.

I'm laughing as I write this, because, really, how many of my younger readers read Virgil, in Latin, in high school? But that's a commentary on the educational system in this country, and the subject of another blog post, on another day.

And there, dear reader, is another wonderful thing about turning sixty. I can now officially call myself a curmudgeon. Tee hee.

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*http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Robert_Fagles

Location:Omaha

Sunday, March 11, 2012

The One I Didn't Want to Write


If you've been under a rock and haven't heard about Rush Limbaugh's latest gaff, well, you've been under a rock. You know, I've been on the planet long enough to see lots of changes.

> I saw the images on my TV of the fire hoses and the German Shepherds, and I was old enough to be shocked that people would treat other people with such cruelty and disrespect.

> My best girl friend once had to spend frighteningly long weeks planning and arranging and being secretive in order to terminate an unplanned pregnancy at a too young age, when it was illegal in most states, and certainly not something to discuss with one's parents.

> My best gay man friend committed suicide rather than face his life after he was arrested for being gay!

Forty years go by. We think we've evolved. Birth Control is legal. Abortion is (sort of) legal. But, according to Wikipedia, certain sexual activities are still illegal, between consenting adults, in seventy (70) countries, and in the U.S. in 14 states until 2003 *

Fast forward to 2012, the absurdity of a male only congressional panel in a discussion about birthcontrol. Rush Limbaugh's rant/personal attack against a brilliant young law student testifying on the uses of Birth Control Pills other than contraception.

I am using lots of italics here because even though I am wise, and have been around the block a few times, I'm appalled, shocked, outraged, etc. about all of this.

In my city last week, a hearing was held at a City Council Meeting on whether discrimination in the workplace against citizens who are gay, lesbian, or transgender should be illegal. People actually stood up and argued against it. One even expressed concern that it could cause lawsuits against employers. Um, if companies are using sexual orientation or identity as a basis for employment, they should be sued. (Sorry about the italics again.)

Having said all of the above, and not as articulately as I would like to, I'd like to recommend you read this column that ran in the Omaha World-Herald this morning. Written by a very bright young columnist with the unlikely name of Rainbow Rowell. Here is a link to Let's get down to (lady) business: http://omaha.com/article/20120311/LIVING/703119953#rainbow-let-s-get-down-to-lady-business

I didn't want to write this. I wanted to write about Spring coming, the finches in my back hard turning yellow, the dogwood down the street coming into bloom. But I had to let you all know about Rainbow. She said it right.

Maybe next week I'll write about my experiences with menopause. Gotta get the ball rolling on that education about Lady Parts!

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*http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sodomy_law
*http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sodomy_laws_in_the_United_States

Location:Omaha